Two Years In A Nutshell

Just wrote a huge post and it erased!  OMG I am annoyed!  Long story short, it has been two years.  I lost my husband of 23 years to suicide in Sep, 2012.  My dad just passed away on Dec 22, 2013 after finding out he had pancreatic cancer 4 weeks previous.  It has been a super crappy 15 months.  Previous to my husbands passing I had dropped 70 lbs and had been running almost daily for more than a year, I ran either 4 or 6 miles a day.  I was happy.  When my husband died all that died too.  I regained all my weight due to emotional eating and old habits.  I got to my highest weight ever ABF.  Recently I dropped 20 to my current weight of ENO.  This was just by getting food out of my room.  I have come to realize, especially after my dads passing that my health is of up most importance.  I have been on 3 medications for several years now.  Mostly for depression and anxiety.  I think if I got healthy and dropped the weight I might be able to drop those too.   i have been watching almost every documentary available on different diets.  I have decided that I don't thing vegetarian or vegan is right, I mean for heavens sake look at our teeth, humans are omnivores!  I think Paleo looks best or maybe a modified version of the Paleo diet.  No curbs, no sugars, no processed food, no dairy.  I realize this is going to be a HUGE commitment and undertaking but I have become very determined.  This is the first time I have made a new years resolution.  I never had because everyone fails new years resolutions and I didn't want to be like them.  But I want the New Years resolution because I need it.  I have several reasons to get back into health.  #1 the obvious.  I have 10 kids, 8 who are still at home I need to be the best and health mom for them so I can be around for 50 more years.  #2 I want to play and do the fun things I love to do, hike, run (oh do I miss running) and maybe do stuff I haven't done in years like skiing.  It would also be wonderful to do more with my kids like amusement parks and water parks and not be concerned about my weight being an issue.  #3 My future,  I hate being single.  I want to find a new love.  I realize if I want a good man I need to become a good woman.  Me being sad and fat is not a person a good man would want.  Well that is 2 years in a nutshell.  I want this to be my online journal to help me with this journey that will be a lifelong journey and achievement.