Water Fast

Obviously I haven't been here in a while and my weight loss success has been the same.  Not successful.  I have had some success's.  I went for 2 weeks with no processed foods and no sugar.  I did this about 6 weeks ago.  During that time I also gave up Diet Coke.  I kept off the Diet Coke for a good time, sadly I had Diet Coke when I was driving home, a 5 hour drive when I got home at 4 AM.  I was hoping the caffeine would help me stay awake.  Anyhow, I am fairly certain the easy part of my new plan will be giving up the evil Diet Coke

Sooooo in approximately 29 minutes I will embark on a water fast.  I have never fasted longer than about 12 hours and I don't remember the last time that happened.  I know I can do it for a day, I know I can do it for 3 days.  I want to do it for 40 days.  The first 3 days are the worst (so I hear),

There are several reason I want to do it.  Obviously the weight loss factor but then there is my skin.   For some reason I have started to have very bad acne.  I am too old for acne.  I am hoping that my skin will clear.  I want to see how I feel.

Anyhow, tonight I will take my measurements and tomorrow I will weigh myself,  I wont weigh myself for another 30+ days.  Not until May 30th.

So forces out there, wish me luck!  I will write again tomorrow.

Beet Juice {ewww}

So I kinda failed after a couple days.  I don't know what it was but I was craving a nasty burger and failed.  Starting again today but made a nasty juice.  Its because it has a beet in it and I hate beets.  I need to get going on exercise because I know I need that just for me.  Lets see my weight. 289 so Im up 5 from my low but I have had a lot to drink this morning already.

Reboot!

 This was my Costco fruit and vegi trip.  I don't know if I have ever had that many healthy items in my cart!

This is called the Mean Green, did not like it.  It s the Kale.  I know kale has many health benefits but its nasty!  I have to find a way to get more flavor too.

So, i finally started.  I decided to go with Rebooting.  There is a documentary called "Fat Sick and Nearly Dead"  It is all about the health and weight loss benefits of juicing.  Well a juicing fast.  I actually went to the doctor for a check up as I have become very concerned about my health and the cancers that have started to show up in my family.  Today is day 4.  I totally blew day 3.  I had two juices then caved at night and got a nasty big mac.  I have no idea why I caved with that.  Well I certainly paid for it by having the worst stomach ache.  I have been drinking gobs of watter.  at least 136oz a day.  Flood the body to get the crap out!  Well I also decided that I might as well post my weight.  I guess I was afraid someone I know will see this blog.  In the end, who cares!  Its my issues and my goals!  So I had gone up as high as 316.  At the start of my diet, 4 days ago I was at 296.   Today I am 286.  That is 10 lbs in 4 days!  On my way if I stop cheating with nasty ass cheese burgers!

Two Years In A Nutshell

Just wrote a huge post and it erased!  OMG I am annoyed!  Long story short, it has been two years.  I lost my husband of 23 years to suicide in Sep, 2012.  My dad just passed away on Dec 22, 2013 after finding out he had pancreatic cancer 4 weeks previous.  It has been a super crappy 15 months.  Previous to my husbands passing I had dropped 70 lbs and had been running almost daily for more than a year, I ran either 4 or 6 miles a day.  I was happy.  When my husband died all that died too.  I regained all my weight due to emotional eating and old habits.  I got to my highest weight ever ABF.  Recently I dropped 20 to my current weight of ENO.  This was just by getting food out of my room.  I have come to realize, especially after my dads passing that my health is of up most importance.  I have been on 3 medications for several years now.  Mostly for depression and anxiety.  I think if I got healthy and dropped the weight I might be able to drop those too.   i have been watching almost every documentary available on different diets.  I have decided that I don't thing vegetarian or vegan is right, I mean for heavens sake look at our teeth, humans are omnivores!  I think Paleo looks best or maybe a modified version of the Paleo diet.  No curbs, no sugars, no processed food, no dairy.  I realize this is going to be a HUGE commitment and undertaking but I have become very determined.  This is the first time I have made a new years resolution.  I never had because everyone fails new years resolutions and I didn't want to be like them.  But I want the New Years resolution because I need it.  I have several reasons to get back into health.  #1 the obvious.  I have 10 kids, 8 who are still at home I need to be the best and health mom for them so I can be around for 50 more years.  #2 I want to play and do the fun things I love to do, hike, run (oh do I miss running) and maybe do stuff I haven't done in years like skiing.  It would also be wonderful to do more with my kids like amusement parks and water parks and not be concerned about my weight being an issue.  #3 My future,  I hate being single.  I want to find a new love.  I realize if I want a good man I need to become a good woman.  Me being sad and fat is not a person a good man would want.  Well that is 2 years in a nutshell.  I want this to be my online journal to help me with this journey that will be a lifelong journey and achievement.

depression

I'm going to try to do this more as a journal is always helpful.  I have been REALLY down lately.  It's about my weight and my life.  I tried the HGC diet two years ago and was very successful for the first phase.  Of course you are eating around 500 calories a day.  This time is better.  I have been consistent for three months now and as of yesterday I was down 33 lbs.  That is a little better than the "good for you" two pounds a week".  I have been using the site, myfitnesspal.com.  It tracks my calories and exercise and is helpful to me in many ways.  I have been walking a lot.  I average about 20+ miles a week.  I have gotten very tan which I think looks nice save for the wrinkles I'm giving myself.  Depressing about how slow it is when you work so hard and about my life in general, decisions Ive made, stupid things I've done.  I feel like a puddle a lot and feel like any day now its all gonna come crashing down.  Sports injuries too, a torn tendon, bone spur etc.  I need some good stuff....please!  Weight, 274

A good couple of days

Got on the scale today and I am down another pound.  This is a total of 17 lbs now.  I realize it is not normal to lose this quickly so I know it might stabilize of slow down but I still feel great.  I saw my mom yesterday and she said, you've been losing weight, I can see it in your face.  I am really excited about my progress.

Daily Info for July 14th

 Thinspiration

Well I now down 16 and continuing my hour and 35 min daily exercise routine.  Yesterday I ate a big Walmart salad which was really good.  It was 600 calories but was my meal of the day.  I have coffee for breakfast and at night my dinner was 2 hard boiled eggs and a low fat yogurt witch is totally like desert.  Strawberry shortcake is my total favorite!  So I am really happy with my progress and continue to be super motivated which is great!

The Weekend

Ah the weekend.  I at almost nothing on Friday and I might not have eaten anything at all if others were't pushing me to eat as I was at a party.  I ate some of a small salad and a small piece of steak.  The downfall was that I got totally drunk that night.  It was a crazy night good and bad.  Glad I didn't have much of a hangover but I have never been that drunk in my life and I never want to go there again either.  It is not fun to be that drunk.

Saturday I hung with my sisters but I think I ate really well for being with them.  When they had dinner I had a side salad.  When they got a treat I ate half.

Monday I ate well, I did have some Cheetos, that was my "bad" thing but I did walk for at least 5 miles and did yoga for 35 min.  Every day I do 35 min of yoga and go at least 3 miles on the treadmill.  Things are moving even if it is slowly.  I have dropped 14 lbs now.  YAY!

July 7th & 8th

Thinspiration

Well I am down another pound. YAY!  I have not been as good as I should though.  Yesterday started really well, by 2PM all I had had was a bean burrito.  Then I went for an hour on the treadmill and 35 min of yoga.  My downfall was the swimming party last night.  They had baked chicken which was good but I did have some potato salad, maybe a half cup and 1/4 of a roll.  At home, the lesson again is don't buy what you don't want to eat.  My daughter made brownies and I had two!!!  at like 10PM no less.  That sucked because my day had started so well.  Today is a new day again though and I plan on doing better.  Again there is a party tonight so drinking can be an issue.  I want to drink though, its so much fun!  Eating will be better and of course I will exercise again.

Depression is again an issue.  I have no real reason to be sad all of the time.  I don't want to take meds because of the side effects although I know they help me.  I have wondered about going on the nicotine patch.  i don't want to take up smoking for all the obvious health issues but maybe the patch will help with my mood and with weight loss.  I have been taking vitamins and fiber in capsule form.

Well it is the weekend and I HOPE for a GREAT one!

Negative Calorie Foods

Now I don't know how true it is but here is a list of so called, "Negative Calorie" Foods.

• Asparagus
• Beet Root
• Broccoli
• Cabbage
• Carrot
• Cauliflower
• Celery
• Chicory
• Hot Chili
• Cucumber
• Garden cress
• Garlic
• Green Beans
• Lettuce
• Onion
• Radish
• Spinach
• Turnip
• Zucchini
• Apple
• Blueberries
• Cantaloupe
• Cranberry
• Grapefruit
• Honeydew
• Lemon/Lime
• Mango
• Orange
• Papaya
• Peach
• Pineapple
• Raspberry
• Strawberry
• Tomato
• Tangerine
• Turnip
• Watermelon

Ana Food Pyramid

Thinspo Quotes

Do not give up on what you want most, for what you want at the moment.

Losing weight is good/gaining weight is bad

The difference between want and need is self control

Stop poisoning your body with food.

If you have weight to lose, lose it. It wouldn’t be there if you weren’t supposed to lose it.

Every time I have the opportunity to eat, I have the strength to refuse.

An ordinary girl, an ordinary waist – but ordinary’s just not good enough today.

Everything I want to be, I am, only buried under a layer of fat.

Strict is my diet, I must not want

 

Eat to live, don’t live to eat.

Good girls don’t swallow

Just say no and keep your mouth closed.

If you wish to grow thinner, diminish your dinner, And take to light claret instead of pale ale; Look down with an utter contempt on butter, And never touch bread till it’s toasted – or stale.

An imperfect body reflects an imperfect person

Food is a hinderance to your progress

Don’t eat anything today that you’ll regret tomorrowI’m not starving myself. I’m perfecting my emptiness

Thinner is winner

I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi’s and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I will grasp with the breathlessness of being airborn. I can fly and be free. I never realized how easyit was.

What’s in your fingers today is on your hips tomorrow

Calorie’s can’t make you happy

You’ve come too far to take orders from a cookie

Nothing tastes better than feeling thin

Thin people look good in any kind of clothes

 

Thinspiration

My Quest

This is my quest.  I want to become anorexic or at least close to it.  I want to be that thin and have the will power to go there.  I don't want to die from it but I think I would not ever get that thin.  I just no longer want my weight to define me.  This is a HUGE quest but I think for the first time in my life I am really at that point where I WANT to lose the weight, FOR ME not for a man or for someone else but for myself.  I want to be in control of something that I am completely responsible for.  Only I can choose what I eat and how I exercise.

After each baby I gained 20 pounds.  I have had 10 kids so there you go.  I am 5' 10" and my highest weight was 308.  I have lost 12 pounds in a month and that is not good enough.  I have a goal.  I want to be 149 by next April 1st.  Right in time for a cruise that I have planned and put money down on.  I want to look good.  I want me to look at me.  I am not too old to have attention of men even younger men (if a 29 year old thinks I am attractive at my current weight just wait how many men will think I am hot when I am truly thin.  I am excited for my quest and i don't remember ever feeling this way.  After all this time with my kids and my depression from my dysfunctional marriage and my horrible husband.  I want to break away and become thin for me.  I am going to post some fantastic pics and info that I see on this site so it can be an inspiration..or I should say, thinspiration